You can avoid a lot of needless drama by continuing to remind yourself of your purpose. Instead of wasting your time and energy on issues that make no difference, focus yourself on achieving the goals you’ve chosen.
If someone is standing in your way, your purpose is not to punish or belittle that person. Your purpose is to get beyond that person’s opposition in a positive, respectful and effective way.
Pouting, whining, intimidation, name calling, seeking to make others feel guilty, and similar tactics produce no real value for anyone. If you’re obsessed with getting even, it’s impossible for you to get ahead.
Your aim is to achieve your goal, to fulfill your purpose. It is not to diminish anyone else.
Put your energy into envisioning and creating positive, meaningful value. Put thoughts, feelings and efforts toward things that will do you, and others, some good.
Remember your purpose, and follow it in a positive, creative way. Skip all the drama and go straight to the goal.
The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers. - M. Scott Peck
Mother’s Day is fast approaching and whether your a single mother, married mother, foster mother, military wife(mom) it is time for us all to give ourselves a pat on the back that we deserve! Even in our learning experiences and imperfections we strive on a daily basis to become a better mother and a better person and that’s what makes us unique and special.
There are so many amazing stories just waiting to be told and my readers and I want to hear them. There are Mom’s out there working a full time job, going to school and still able to feed her kids the healthy meals they need, I mean holding it down and doing it! There are mothers that were just given her kids back due to a mistake she made but now has a second chance. Your mother may have gone on to glory but you remember a special moment that you feel is worth sharing. We want to hear your story! Please take a few moments to share your story it just may be a blessing to someone else.
To leave a comment, please click on this link, http://blaquepaper.com/?p=1882 I look forward to reading your stories and will choose a few stories to post throughout the day on this Sunday, Mother’s Day. Thank you in advance for participating.
Hi my name is Olivia and I just started a new blog http://dedicatedto-mom.tumblr.com. I came across your post about your son and I just wanted to drop by and say congratulations for his great accomplishments :)
Thank you so much. Love your tumblr page! Keep up the good work.
I’m looking for that silver lining…not in the sky but in my life. I’ve been having one of “those moments” [inserts the deepest sigh from the depths of my soul] for a few days and I see no relief in sight. Why? I’m so glad you asked. I am so tired of helping others dreams come true. Sacrificing time, energy and thoughts to help them make it happen. But, when it comes to my dreams, the truth is those same folk could care less. Well, they do care they just don’t have the sincerity to reciprocate that same time and energy that was given to them. That’s just one of my problems.
The next problem that runs parallel to the previous one is a job. You probably remember in my previous series “I am a Survivor” I gave my personal testimony of being a cancer survivor. On my job search all goes well during the first and second interview process and then you get to the paperwork process and the most dreaded question of them all. Medical history? When I write down cancer, there goes my hopes of getting the job right down the drain. Regardless of my credentials to do the work. Why? Truth be told, I am a insurance risk for them so of course the rejection letter comes that they chose another candidate. How I know this is because my previous employer let me go after 6 years of employment, my chemo treatments caused the company’s premiums to skyrocket. It’s sad but it’s true and unfair because regardless of my previous medical condition I still have to make a means to survive.
The last thing on my ranting list is I had hopes to attend the BWB (Blogging while Brown) Conference in Los Angeles this year but that’s not looking too good either. So, what do you do when you help others succeed but you’re steadily sinking in the quick sand? What do you do when you’ve tried and tried and but employers just won’t hire you because of a previous medical condition? This was the main reason I started blaque paper. To give me something to do and look forward to on a daily basis. In other words, to help keep me going despite the rejection.
I’ve made some crucial decisions today. The first, do not ask the dreaded question of my family and friends “have you read my blog? are you going to leave a comment?” I solemnly promise I will NEVER utter those words again. Whether anybody reads/comments or not I am going to write anyway. My solution to the job is to just not look anymore. Not that I gave up but the truth is the truth and facts are facts. If anyone wants to hire me then they will have to come looking for me. Regarding the BWB Conference, well… there’s always next year (I hope) *inserts tear*.
At this very moment, while I am discouraged yet I am thankful, at least I have blaque paper and the physical and mental abilities to write. This blog is all I have right now so in a sense I guess it is my silver lining. Whenever I am down, I always try and end on a positive note. I just read this while searching for something positive, while it didn’t 100% cheer me up it made complete sense.
Remove the sting; remove the whine; remove the sigh. They are your enemies. They are never conducive to happiness; and we all live to gain happiness, to give happiness. From every word remove the sting. Speak kindly. To speak kindly and gently to everybody is the mark of a great soul. And it is your privilege to be a great soul. From the tone of your voice remove the whine. Speak with joy. Never complain. The more you complain, the smaller you become, and the fewer will be your friends and opportunities. Speak tenderly, speak sweetly, speak with love. From all the outpourings of your heart, remove the sigh. Be happy and contented always. Let your spirit sing, let your heart dance, let your soul declare the glory of existence, for truly life is beautiful. Every sigh is a burden, a self-inflicted burden. Every whine is a maker of trouble, a forerunner of failure. Every sting is a destroyer of happiness, a dispenser of bitterness. To live in the world of sighs is to be blind to everything that is rich and beautiful. The more we sigh, the less we live, for every sigh leads to weakness, defeat and death. Remove the sting, remove the whine, remove the sigh. They are not your friends. There is better company waiting for you. - Source: The Sacred Text
I sat there with your text for an hour tonight Trying to think of a word to describe you— To rival your use of a language I claim to love but clearly know nothing of.
And I concluded that indescribable is a bad excuse for lack of vocabulary. I don’t know if this is right; But it hurts when I think of you, so it must be, right?
To be so unsure of where I’m going, but to go there because I have no choice; Just like when I told you what I was feeling— because I felt those feelings and I at least have a voice.
But you smiled —Against all of my miscalculated odds— And you looked at me.
Your smile could’ve fuelled a thousand planes and circled the world with hope. Your eyes gleamed: A torch beam, A laser stream, A super-solar flare. I looked back at you for a moment, Found myself lost; Forgot I was even there. Time comes for us all eventually, but if we’re lucky, it hands us to people like you
First, let me explain what R*I*M stands for (reinventing myself). I received a question in my inbox today and decided to share it along with my answer.
QUESTION: I really enjoyed reading your Reinventing Myself post. Sounds like a good idea. I would like to reinvent myself as well but don’t really know how. Can you share with me some of the things that you are doing?ANSWER: Glad you like my post. As far as my R.I.M. plan, the very first thing I did was write down a 30 day goal. Nothing too extravagant to start off but something that I feel I could attain within that time frame (it’s something I have to work on almost everyday in order to achieve it).
The second thing I did was write down a list of things I wanted to do for myself and if at all possible by myself. My life with three teenagers and my boyfriend is full and bursting from the seams (lol). I love each of them dearly but I have very little “me” time. So, each week I will set aside time to “treat” myself. I’m considering going to the movies tomorrow. It will be a little weird because I’ve never been to the movies by myself so this should be interesting.
Also, I bought a journal to write letters to myself and to track my goals and any other important quotes or inspiring lessons I have learned. Believe it or not, the title of my journal is “R*I*M - get busy living or get busy dying”. This is something I decided to do just the other day so I am winging as I go along. If anyone has any tips they would like to share please feel free to do so.
Hope this helps!
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies. I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size But when I start to tell them, They think I’m telling lies. I say, It’s in the reach of my arms The span of my hips, The stride of my step, The curl of my lips. I’m a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That’s me.
I walk into a room Just as cool as you please, And to a man, The fellows stand or Fall down on their knees. Then they swarm around me, A hive of honey bees. I say, It’s the fire in my eyes, And the flash of my teeth, The swing in my waist, And the joy in my feet. I’m a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That’s me.
Men themselves have wondered What they see in me. They try so much But they can’t touch My inner mystery. When I try to show them, They say they still can’t see. I say, It’s in the arch of my back, The sun of my smile, The ride of my breasts, The grace of my style. I’m a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That’s me.
Now you understand Just why my head’s not bowed. I don’t shout or jump about Or have to talk real loud. When you see me passing It ought to make you proud. I say, It’s in the click of my heels, The bend of my hair, The palm of my hand, The need for my care, 'Cause I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That’s me.
For the longest time my motto has been an infamous quote from the movie Shawshank Redemption “get busy living or get busy dying!” It only took me forever to realize that there is a difference between saying the words and actually living them. I often post quotes on my twitter and facebook pages and when I came across this post on yesterday it was a rude awakening all over again.
"SO MANY PEOPLE TIPTOE THROUGH LIFE, SO CAREFULLY, TO ARRIVE, SAFELY AT DEATH." - Jermaine Evans
Put the two quotes together and that’s my inspiration for the rest of the year. I actually laughed when I first read it because the words spoke directly to me. Then… I read it again but only this time the grin was gone. It’s like I’ve been walking on egg shells my entire life, setting easy & attainable goals. So yeah, in other words tiptoeing through life playing it safe.
I’m ready to make some noise! Get things moving in my life and make steps to move closer to new & dramatic goals, that’s the kind of noise I’m talking about. I’m in another reinventing stage (we all need those every now and then) and it feels good. There’s nothing like a renewed mind, body and spirit. As the age old saying goes “the proof is in the pudding” so for starters I will be participating in Spa Week on the 15th. I have an appointment for a 50 minute Rest & Recovery Massage (featuring lemongrass, eucalyptus, & black pepper with hot stone placement) Sounds delightful! I will be sure to give an update on this. :)
I have lived my life so carefully planned that it has become b-o-r-i-n-g. Really! One thing I look forward to is on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I write Angelville and what’s so exciting about it, is that I don’t have a clue what I will write until I sit down and write it that day. No pre-planned thoughts, charts or plots. Just pure free writing and I love it!
A little R&R, revised goals and some ‘me’ time should do it. I’m looking forward to the new & rejuvenated ME!
I gathered my belongings and went straight to the ER as instructed. A nurse drew more blood and sent it to the lab to see if the results had changed. Indeed they had. My hemoglobin level had dropped it was now 5.2. I was admitted to the hospital and I was given a blood transfusion. After five pints of blood the doctors still could not figure out why my levels were still not where they should have been. My hemoglobin level was only at 10.0 which still wasn’t bad but they expected it to jump to at least 13. After a couple of days I was released from the hospital.
I felt better because I had more energy than I had in a long time. But, something still was not quite right. I couldn’t sit for more than an hour without being in excruciating pain. I worked from home so I had to log off to lay down when the pain became unbearable. This went on for a week before I returned to the ER for another evaluation. After several exams and being hospitalized for 13 days I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. I was taking more pills on a daily basis than had I probably taken in my entire life.
The pain continued to progress even though I was taking 10+ pills every couple of hours as prescribed. I made several more trips to the ER but was given the same diagnosis, Crohn’s disease. I would lay awake at night and cry because the pain on my right side (near my hip) was constant but this time I could feel a lump. I continued to take my medicine, cry and pray which seemed to be all I could do. I could no longer work because I couldn’t sit long enough to work at my computer. I remember praying “God, I am making one last trip to the ER. If something is wrong with me, I need you to make it known to me today because this will be my last trip.”
[Part III - Thursday]
As you may know, I lost a best friend last week, Sherry A. Denson. Hours after writing Part I to this post I learned that she lost her battle with Stage IV breast cancer. I am accepting donations for the American Cancer Society to give in her honor. Feel free to give donations for cancer research until March 31st. Please visit my website http://blaquepaper.com/